It happens to the best of us—some days you just don’t feel like facing the world, much less yourself. So, what do you do, just throw the covers back over your head? Life is tough as it is and when it’s complicated by divorce, job loss or even a scary health diagnosis, it’s enough to send our self-esteem headfirst into the tank. But fear not—there are some really simple things you can do to improve the way you feel about yourself. Remember, we only live each day once, so make it positive and worth living!


Lists can reveal a lot about us. What makes you blue? When do you feel inadequate? Who are the people who leave you feeling worse about yourself? Balance those negative thoughts with a list of accomplishments and positive actions you plan to take. Any and all things count, including raising a family, praise from a coworker or friend or even a good deed done for your neighbor. Remember, you can’t be superwoman every day; balance negative thoughts with remembrances of those days when you did something worth noting.


How do you typically talk about yourself to yourself? With criticisms? Write down those times when you’re willing to say I am doing great today! And compare those days with when you’re more eager to say I’m not good enough today. Then ask yourself: would I judge my friends like this? Take 15 minutes each day to reflect on the things you love about yourself—OK, even like about yourself. You may be surprised that in just a few weeks you will feel a change in how you view yourself along with a boost in your overall moods.


People just feel better when they feel like they’re learning or accomplishing something. Educate yourself about depression and low self-esteem by reading self-help books that help you climb out of those emotional lows. Then reach for titles that will keep your brain engaged in new and interesting ways.


Jot down on your calendar something you’d love to do each day, whether it’s gardening, playing the piano or just having your make-up done. Buy a bouquet of flowers for your house and look forward to doing the things you love to do, even if it’s stealing 15 minutes for reading one afternoon. Make your calendar feasible—avoid being overly ambitious.

You are what you eat. Are you eating healthy foods that will give you energy and the nutrition to feel and look your best? Are you smoking or drinking too much? Stop smoking altogether and limit your alcohol consumption. High fat and high sugar diets can leave us feeling like a train wreck; eat from the food pyramid and watch both your mood and energy levels hit new peaks.


Be honest about how much exercise you are getting. Being outdoors in direct sunshine for at least 30 minutes a day is a proven mood lifter. If you like playing sports, such as golf or tennis, but have just lost your drive, remind yourself of how good it feels to move your body and participate in friendly competition.


Have you let your personal hygiene slip? Get on the scale and check your weight—is it the same or changing? Look at your haircut and color—do your roots need a redo? How long has it been since you indulged in a bubble bath or manicure? Make a list of those items that you consider important in caring for yourself and start getting them done. You’ll feel better immediately!


Go to the front door and walk into your home as if you were seeing it for the first time. When was the last time you added a new picture? Replace old memories with new ones. Do you see your favorite colors in your current decorating scheme? If not, add a couple of items that immediately bring you joy. Research shows that people who live surrounded by their favorite colors feel calmer.


Research shows that pets help lower blood pressure and help you live longer. Even people who have animals that visit on a regular basis have lower levels of loneliness and depression. If you don’t want the fuss and trouble of a full-time Fido, ask your neighbor if you can regularly take his or her dog for a walk.


Chances are if you are depressed or suffering from low self-esteem, a visit to a healthcare provider is absolutely in order. Specifically, your healthcare provider will need to check your hormones and blood pressure and ask about premenstrual or perimenopausal symptoms in addition to conducting your regular exam. Thyroid function and conditions such as diabetes may need evaluation and treatment. By getting annual exams, including a mammogram, Pap test and screenings for other health conditions, you’ll automatically feel better about yourself.

About the Author: Gay Goss, PhD, RNC, WHNP, CNS, is a nurse practitioner in Southern California and a professor at California State University at Dominguez Hills, CA.