Sexual activity and dating violence are beginning earlier than ever, according to the surprising results of a new survey from Teenage Research Unlimited and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.

Nearly one in 10 say their friends have already had sex, defined as intercourse.

“Currently in my practice I am seeing dozens of young girls who had early sexual experiences and I witnessed directly how it makes these young girls more vulnerable and how it can lead to situations where they will be abused,” says Jill Murray, PhD, leading psychologist and author of But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women.

What teens may not know or understand is that the earlier they begin to engage in sexual behaviors the more likely it is they will experience high levels of dating abuse or violence as they get older.

As many as one in five—or 20%—of children ages 11 to 14 say they have friends who are victims of dating violence or are in verbally abusive relationships.

Of teens who had sex before age 14, 69% said they had experienced all aspects of dating abuse including verbal, emotional, physical and mental abuse. Yet only half of the teens surveyed claimed to know the warning signs of an abusive relationship.

So how do you know if your teen is in an abusive relationship? Ask lots of questions about the boyfriend or girlfriend, like:

• Do you ever feel threatened?
• Does he or she ever put you down in front of your friends?
• Have you ever been hit or restrained?
• Is he or she overly jealous of attention to you from others?
• Would he or she rather spend all of his/her time with you versus others?
• Do you ever feel uncomfortable around him or her?

If you suspect your teen is dating too young or is in a bad relationship, find additional resources for talking with her or him at www.loveisnotabuse.com or the National Teen Dating Abuse helpline at www.loveisrespect.org.