We all know what a honeymoon period is. For bosses, employees, lovers, or presidents, it is that blissful time when you can learn the ropes and get used to your new gig before reality sets in and “bleep” hits the fan.

But when it comes to parenthood, as warm and wonderful an experience as it is, the “bleep” hits the fan (and the diaper and the onesie and the receiving blanket) pretty much the moment you bring bubby home. Though you’re basking in the glow of that beautiful baby of yours and how you’ve never, ever felt anything like the soul-gripping joy of being a parent, babies allow no time for you to learn the ropes.

Reality hits you hard. And often. They need to eat, you need to sleep. Your nipples are sore and your brain is numb. They get diaper rash and they get gas—morning, noon, night, and 17 times in between. Ain’t no hammocks on this honeymoon, mama.

Add in the fact that everyone and their mother (not to mention yours and his) want to tell you what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, whether you like it or not. So, we’re going to help you filter the advice by detailing a few top issues you will likely face in the first month of parenting.

Feed Your Child

Above all, we believe that breastfeeding is the best way to feed your child, although we realize that it’s not an option for some people. Simply, your body knows exactly what your baby needs, and it concocts the perfect cocktail of nutrients in the form of your breastmilk. Breastmilk contains protein, healthy fat, sugar, vitamins, and minerals that have huge effects on the health and development of your child. Not only that, it actually changes composition as your baby grows, adapting to his growing needs.

Breastmilk protects against infection, allergies, asthma, sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), and a raft of other diseases as well. And that’s not even mentioning the benefits that breast-feeding has for you: It burns something on the order of 500 calories a day, helps to contract the uterus after delivery, and has protective effects on your bones and against certain cancers. Bottom line: Breast milk is the ultimate nectar to the newborn.

Getting Some Zzzzzzs

Gone are the days when you can sleep in—or sleep through the night. If you’re lucky, it’ll be only about 10 to 12 weeks before your baby starts to sleep through the night, and by “through the night,” we mean 6 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep without needing to be fed.

Until then, while it’s not an ideal situation, your body can handle it. In a way, the multiple midnight bathroom runs you had in the third trimester helped prepare you for this. Certainly a lot of your sleep quality and length depends on how you decide to feed. If you decide to pump or use formula, your partner can help cover some of the nighttime responsibilities. In any case, because your sleep is entwined with your baby’s, your goal is to create the best possible sleeping environment for your child, which ultimately will help you too.

In the beginning, your baby will be in a constant sleep-eat cycle. Nevertheless, it’s important to give him clues about when it’s night and when it’s day, even when he’s sleeping. Healthy sleep training is like muscle building: You’ve got to teach his body what to do through your actions and through routines.

When he naps during the day, go about your business, keep lights on, and don’t go crazy dampening background noise. Essentially, make nighttime feedings as boring as possible, so that he is encouraged to go back to sleep rather than to seek entertainment.

Ultimately, sleep is really a habit, and if you can teach your child the difference between night and day—and when it’s okay to be active and when it’s not—you’re setting yourself up for good sleep experiences.

How’s Your Mood?

It’s time to cope with the neurological and hormonal changes that occur after birth. Laugh. Cry. Throw a stroller at your partner the next time he leaves the toilet seat up. Your moods are swinging, and they’re swinging hard. It’s no wonder; not only are you adjusting to a major life change, but you’re sleep deprived and have hormones swirling around in your blood like bumper cars—stop, start, go, fast, slow, brake, aaaah!

Perhaps nowhere do these hormonal changes manifest themselves more clearly than when it comes to your moods. As many as 50% of all women suffer some kind of blues after giving birth. You may feel anxious, have crying spells, lose your appetite, or have trouble sleeping. The trick is to figure out how serious your mood changes are and what you need to do about them. Above all, it’s important to note that feeling a little off your game is totally normal—and even expected. But you and your partner need to be aware of the signs and clues to when the baby blues turn a deeper, darker shade of depression.

Tending to the War Wounds

For nine months your body has been kicked, torn, stretched, jiggled, and put through the gauntlet of all gauntlets. Mighty nice work, you think. Now give me my body back!! As much as you enjoyed the pregnancy journey, you’re ready to fit back into your old clothes and eliminate the aches that arose during delivery.

You see A‑list moms who can fit into their skinny jeans mere hours after pregnancy, and you think that you should be able to drop baby weight just like that. But those cases are extremely rare.

Remember that it took you 9 months to add the weight, and a realistic goal is for you to take 9 months to drop it. Breastfeeding will speed it up, until the very end—most women hang on to the last few pounds until they wean. The key here is, of course, to make sure that you have sound nutrition and physical activity. You need to segregate some time for YOU.

Any good weight-loss program isn’t just about the tools but also about your expectations and attitude. Be realistic, make smart choices, and you will once again see the inside of your skinny jeans.

Family Affairs

Oh yeah, just about forgot, didn’t you? That you had a pet, other kids, neighbors, and that guy lazing about on the couch who picks his nails and snores too loudly. Newborns have that way about them; they make you forget there’s a whole other world that still would very much like your attention. Being the amazing woman that you are, however, you will try to balance all of these other people, pets, and plants that don’t want you to forget about them. Rather than ignore them, engage your partner and your other children (and your pets) to help manage the family newbie.