The baby is finally asleep and you haven’t fallen into a virtual coma yet. Your spouse has washed the dishes and put in a load of laundry. He looks across the room at you and finally, after 1, 2, 3 or 6 months, the thought of sex enters your brain. But when it comes to the moment for actual penetration, ouch! It hurts! What’s going on?

Pregnancy changes your hormones and it can take a while to get back to normal. It will take even longer when you’re breastfeeding. Estrogen is the culprit—it’s the hormone of sexual arousal. So when your estrogen levels are lowered, so too is your natural lubrication.

If you had an episiotomy or a tear you’ll also have some scar tissue at the entrance to the vagina and that will not stretch the same way.

So Many Choices

So what can you do to help makes things easier? Lube is the one-word answer. Sexual (or personal) lubricants are available in any drugstore and there’s a very confusing array of them too.

It’s important to avoid anything that is warming, cooling, or intensifying (such as KY Yours and Mine) because these contain irritants—and who needs to be rushing off to wash away something that was supposed to make things better?

If you want to conceive again, there is only one lubricant that will not impact that. Pre-Seed will not affect the sperm or your own fluids while all the other lubricants will.

Read the ingredients on the side of the box—anything ending with “–cone” means that it is silicone based. Anything ending in “–ose” means that it has glycerin (or other sugar) in it. If you see peppermint oil or borage oil, it contains an irritant. I personally like the “less is more” approach so the fewer ingredients the better.

Lube 101

Petroleum-based products (Vaseline, massage oil, mineral oil) are cheap and easily available but do you really want to put something like that in your body? However, they are not safe to use with condoms.

Natural oil-based lubricants (olive, almond, coconut) are also cheap and easy to find but may contain pesticides.

Silicone-based lubricants (e.g., KY Intrigue, Eros, Wet Platinum, Pink) are pricier and must be washed off with soap and water. But they stay slippery for a long time and are hypoallergenic. They’re safe with condoms but will degrade silicone sex toys.

Water-based lubricants are inexpensive and safe with condoms. Some brands contain glycerin and parabens (Astroglide, Wet, KY Liquid) while others do not (Liquid Silk, Slippery Stuff, Good Clean Love, Astroglide Naturals).